Hand drawn textiles

I love doodling, drawing, sketching or what ever you want to call it. Markers, crayons or colored pencils are often my medium of choice when it comes to creating something.

That said, here is a pen and ink drawing. Single drawing, then tiled.

Getting back to the design part of this blog....

What I originally intended for this blog was for it to be design based, things I find inspiring. Color, patterns, texture....

Of course Im allowed to post off topic things, but I am hoping to go back to my original plan...

Photos from my nature walk...

We got a new little dog.....

A little guy ran in front of my car, exactly 2 months after my Smokey passed away and it was the same day our application for a dog adoption got approved. He found me.
We have a little dog who has no name. He is well loved, he loves treats and toys.
The cats hate him and I heart him.

A heartbreaking week....my darling Smokey Bear passed on.

I lost my beloved Smokey Bear this week. He had a seizure Saturday afternoon. We rushed him to the emergency and found out that he had liver cancer (3 tumors), he had internal bleeding, his blood would not clot. We had to give him a blood transfusion to bring him out of the seizure state and to stop the internal bleeding and to get his blood to clot.

We got to bring him home Sunday night. He seemed perky, definitely not healthy, but perky. He ate a good dinner of chicken and egg, then he crashed again. He stopped breathing many times in the night, his body would shudder and he would gasp for breath. He had heavily distressed labored breathing all night. There were moments that I was sure he would pass in the night.

I slept on his bed all night with him and held his paw in my hand all night.

I kissed his paw and his nose all night telling him I was letting him go and he needed to let me go, I would be all right and he needed to go with his sister. The glow around him was very dim and I knew he would most likely pass during the next day.

We brought him to our regular vet and had him euthanized. The vet sedated him, his breathing got lighter and softer. The vet hard barely injected the euthanasia medication and he was already gone. I knew that he was on his way to the light. He passed quietly. I kissed him on the nose and told him he would be forever in my heart and I know we would see each other again. I told him he could be at peace and he would be with his sister again. I told him to go with her.

I knew there was no hope to get him healthy and I knew that I did not want him to suffer any longer. I would not and will not keep an ill dog alive for myself if their quality of life is suffering. It is cruel to them and in the end just harder on you.

I love my dog dearly and am having a hard time keeping it together right now. The house is eerily silent, he is not in the places he should be, the hall way or circling us for food.
It's hard to come home from work and hear nothing. Hard to walk in the front door and not be greeted by a wagging tail and a wet nose.
I can't go home by myself right now, and I am not sure when I will be able to be to. I am not whole right now. There is a hole in my heart. Smokey Bear is gone.

My heart hurts and is heavy. I know he is in a better place with his sister who passed last year in June. They are together again, she is no longer alone and he has some one to guide him.

My heart hurts.

Can one be successful in life while suffering migraines?

I have been suffering from migraines since....hmmm...I think about 5th grade. I remember waking up one morning with the worst headache and my eyes were burning it was so painful. Since that day they have pretty much interrupted my life.

Hormones & food are my main trigger, however I have been able to go for 3-4 months with no migraines. During those headache free breaks I have been pretty consistent with my exercise routine and also eat cleaner and lower fat.

This is my first headache in almost 5 months. I took a topple down the stairs 4 days ago and also have not been exercising or eating good for close to a month and my water intake is lower than I would like.

I work with a lot of highly sensitive and creative folks who get migraines....but I don't see them missing as much work as I do because of them.
I can not take any migraine medication....I've tried a lot of them. Imitrex, Replax, Maxalt and Migranal and they have all the same side effect for me....racing heart beat, made my headache worse, made all of my appendages tingle etc. I have also tried beta blockers and due to my multiple kidney stones I can not take a lot of the preventative medications.
I do not want to be on medication for the rest of my life for this, the side effects seems horrendous. No Thanks!

As 2013 is my growth year, I am hoping that I learn more about my disease/disorder - (yes the AMA considers this a disease and has no cure.)
I am hoping that I can get these under control where I can live a life where I am not afraid that it's going to trigger another migraine and miss more work.
Im going to put positive vibes out there, I will get back on my exercise regime and eat better and cleaner.
Every time I get a migraine I feel like I have taken like 10 steps back, it makes me feel week in character, it makes me feel like a failure and it makes me really down.

I do not like to travel too far from home because I am afraid one is going to happen and I can not do anything to manage it.

So this leads me to this question.....can one be successful in life while suffering from migraines?

Good things are happening...

One - people have been pinning my work into their boards on Pinterest. It's just a few pcs of my work, but nonetheless I'm very happy.
Two - In my just for fun Spoonflower store, I have already received comments on 2 pcs of work I put in there.
Three - I was asked to put art in at our work sponsored art show. I really don't have anything ready. But Im sure I can put something together. Im not committed to this...not even a teeny bit.
Four - I paid off one my three credit cards. Credit cards are evil, I'm 36 and just now figuring that out...

I set up a Spoonflower store.

Yes I set up a Spoonflower store. 

http://www.spoonflower.com/profiles/fluffypants007

Getting a bit more gutsy...I posted a few older things I did in Pinterest

Yes I know they are older things, some are newer within the last few years. Im fishing to see what happens...

I've been down with the flu that everyone has, I've been trying to avoid it...but I guess not...

Tile Deck app for Ipad - can't stop making patterns!

I have been playing with this app called Tile Deck available in the app store in Itunes. So much fun!
It offers 3 different tile configurations, triangle, diamond and a square. You color in the shape and then pick on the repeat patterns, kaleidoscope, mirror, zig zag, flip etc. The app is a couple of bucks, but totally worth it!

Home interiors & Spoonflower

When I get back to Northern Cali, Im going to start working on a handmade collection of home prints. I love interior/home prints, Ive always wanted to cover a rococo style chair in one of my fabric designs. I think I will add this to  my 2013 to do list...

I've been playing around on www.spoonflower.com with the wallpapers....I can't wait to finalize my designs and then stick them up on the wall!!

My word for the year....Growth

I borrowed this concept from another blog.

I am starting this year by choosing a word to guide me.

Growth.

I will live this word to the fullest. I am still working through things (since the 2011 shit show) and I'm sure I will still be working through them well into 2013.
This will be a year of "going for it" and seeing what happens and where the road goes.

There is no other way to grow unless you challenge yourself and try things. I have spent the last two years afraid of change and spent the last two years living such a regimented routine that I found it terrifying if I deviated from it.

2013 will be a new year of new beginnings and growth.